dating tips for men first kiss

dating tips for men first kiss @ The Tao Of Badass - Dating Advice For Men

After years of dating, I have come to discover that the old rules of attraction no longer apply. With new generations come new rules and expectations for the dating scene.

Three Is a Magic Number

One of the biggest myths about dating is that you can tell if you are attracted to another person in about 3 seconds. That is simply not true. It generally takes at least 30 minutes to 3 hours.

Here's why: on the first meeting both of you are trying to make a good impression, neither one of you can just relax and be yourselves. This is especially true for Western guys who are dating Japanese women, because of the language barrier and cultural (mis)communication issues. Depending on the listening skills and Japanese communication ability of the guy, it takes at least 5 “ 10 minutes for the Japanese girl to decide if she can trust the guy. Even after this initial trust building time,� she may be a little less nervous, but still not able to fully relax. By the third date, you both should be able to relax and have a good conversation.

More and more Japanese women are even waiting until at least the 3rd date before having sex with a man just to see if there is an emotional connection. So what this means is that you may have to be prepared to invest a little more time with a woman to see if you truly have a connection.

Throw Out the Must Have� List

Men and women both keep a list in their heads of what they want in a boyfriend/girlfriend. It is time to throw this list away. There is no such thing as a perfect� woman (or perfect man). If you are too particular about what you're looking for, you will spend years of your life trying to find a woman who has all the exact qualities on your list. Instead, approach dating with an open mind and an attitude of abundance. You never know who you might meet “ a woman who doesn't seem like your ideal� type might ultimately turn out to be lots of fun and a great match for your personality.

Is It Love or Lust?

The first few weeks of a new relationship are always exciting. They are filled with constantly thinking about the other person, spending a lot of time together, and e-mailing or texting each other constantly. That is great, but this infatuation stage� is not the basis for a real, lasting relationship. Lust is when you think about your woman constantly, when you desire her deeply, when you're full of feverish fantasies about her. True love is when you think about your woman and it makes you feel good “ on a warm, comfortable level. So before a relationship gets too serious, decide if you could fall in love with this woman, or if you are just suffering from a case of lust. (There's nothing wrong with lust “ in fact, lust makes the world go round. If it weren't for lust, many of us would never have been born! But keep in mind that if a long-term relationship is your goal, you need to avoid getting too caught up in the lusty infatuation stage; be prepared to go deeper.)

Opposites Do Not Attract

It used to be that the saying was opposites attract.� I would argue that with the new rules of attraction, nothing could be farther from the truth! Think about it, if you have nothing in common with a woman, what are you going to do outside of the bedroom? What kind of future could you possibly have with a woman who does not want the same things in life and who does not have the same goals as you? Remember, you may be great together in bed, but other than both of you enjoying sex, what else does your relationship have?

The best advice is to find someone you love to talk to. If you marry this woman and plan on growing old together, over time, having a great friendship will become much more important than sex. This can be especially challenging for Western guys in Japan. I've seen lots of Western guys who get infatuated (sometimes obsessed�) with the first Japanese woman they have sex with in Japan “ and they start to ignore various warning signs, they start to dismiss concerns that they might have, they basically don't do the due diligence� that they would on a woman that they were dating back home. It's like because they're in a foreign country, their standards drop. Don't let this happen to you!

What are some ways that dating has changed for you since you first started dating?

Is there any dating advice that you remember hearing when you were younger that has turned out to be completely wrong?

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