first dating advice

first dating advice @ The Tao Of Badass - Dating Advice For Men

Recently on Match, Violet, my friend, met a guy. She loves camping and is fearful of blue foods, and so was he. Combined with her comfort-level of online dating, Violet agreed to a first date after only a few emails.

"I hadn't even gotten a drink yet and he went in for a kiss," Violet said. "We met at the new sushi restaurant downtown and while we waited for our table in the bar he managed to land one on my cheek."

Violet and I agree that men like this are creepy, not to mention desperate, misunderstood, or maybe just unable to decipher social cues. As Violet tried to laugh off the kiss, he reached for her hand. She pulled away only for him to put his arm around her shoulders.

As far as I know footsy is a tool screenwriters use to create sexual tension among their characters. But once Violet sat down for dinner, her date promptly took off his right shoe and tried to play footsy. I can't believe people really do this.

Anyhow, Violet's response was to scowl. She has what should be a patented scowl, one that I've never been able to duplicate. It's a mixture of shock, disgust, frustration, and disapproval. I wish I could describe it better, but I'm unable to find words for the way she contorts and scrunches her facial muscles along with the way she drops her head to look at you from the corner of her eyes. It's a talent only she possesses and a message her date should have received immediately.

"At this point, there were so many problems with him," explained Violet. "To start, he wasn't smart enough to know my scowl meant to back off. It felt like he was flirting the way men do in soft-porn, so I just asked him what his problem was. I said, 'don't you know how to behave on a date?'"

Again the guy just laughed and responded by grabbing her hands across the table saying, "don't you know what its like to have someone come on to you?"

"I don't like it, and yah, I do know what it's like," said Violet as he ran his ten fingertips across hers. "Are your fingertips itchy, why are you touching me still?"

Her decision to stay and struggle through dinner was for woman-kind everywhere. Maybe by talking to this man she could show him just how poorly he was behaving. But based on the next day's match.com follow-up e-mail, she failed. He said he enjoyed their date and looked forward to kissing her voluptuous lips and holding her hands for real, "just like grown-ups do."

Now, neither Violet nor I know what "like grown-ups do" means exactly, but it sounds dirty and so she wrote back saying, "I will absolutely not be seeing you again. And hey, do me a favor; please always keep your shoes on when in public."

Violet, well done. I don't think I could say it any better. To recap, if any of you find yourself with an itchy-fingered date, here is what you do:

Joke about how affectionate he is Dirty looks work Ask if he has a problem Point out his dating faux pas Follow up in an e-mail telling him what bothered you

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